A Perfect Night

The night I met Rob, I think we both knew that we were on to something pretty fabulous. Maybe love at first sight. Much of this "love" was based on 3 vital things. Both of our favorite TV shows was The Brady Bunch. Our favorite movie was About Last Night and we were both huge college basketball fans. Rob a KU fan and me an IU fan. LOVE.

So 15 years ago Rob asked me to marry him at the LP Zoo lights on 12/27/2006. I have said it many times, it was the greatest single moment of my life. It was all I had anticipated and there couldn't have been a happier person on the planet. So yesterday we went to see the lights and Santa at the zoo with the kids. We've been to the zoo w/ them a ton but never to see the lights. I couldn't help but to be sentimental. As we were walking around, I had to do the math and realized it's our 15 year engagement anniversary. That's pretty wild. It really is. I kept thinking that there was some couple there last night who might be getting engaged and they couldn't possibly know what's ahead of them. 3 kids! A full life....Wow.. Plus, being in Lincoln Park always makes me way sappy b/c it's the place of our courtship. A place that truly represents a time in my life that I thought about ONE thing......us. Nothing else - not problems or work or money or any responsibility at all. I must admit, I WISH I could that back once a while. At least the ability to just care about 1 thing but now our lives are so full of responsibility and challenges that "us" takes a big back seat.

ANYWAY - we have watched hundreds of basketball games together. We LOVE the tournament. I might even love the tournament more than Rob. We have fantasies about, when the kids are older, taking off work and flying out to the cities that host the games we want to see and then doing it again the next week. In retirement, this could be our annual vacation.....chasing the tournament.

Last night KU beat OSU who is ranked #2. As much as we both love this stuff, we handle it WAY differently. Rob was silently monitoring it on his phone. Not a word. And I wasn't about to say a word b/c talking about it is not RN's style. His expectations are low. Well he says they are low but I bet secretly they're a little higher that even he would want. Anyway, he finally turns the phone towards me to see the score. WHAT? This is crazy...they are about to win.....HOLY SHIT. He is mellow. I am not. He was probably afraid to even tell me. We are happy with the victory and head into see Santa at the zoo. Rob is now monitoring the IU game. Now my expectations are honestly low. IU is certainly making a come back but they are in NO position to beat the #1 team in a the country. A team I despise. A team that, back in the day, were each other's greatest rivals. Not only are my expectations low, I can't bear to watch or know the score. So it's a perfect set up w/ Rob monitoring - if it's bad, he says nothing and I don't need to know the damage and if it's okay, he will quietly let me know. Through the evening he lets me know - 14-12. 30-22. We are winning. Holy shit. But they can't keep this up. I can't bear to know any more. So we see Santa and Peter was sweet as could be asking Santa if he would rather have tacos instead of cookie on Christmas Eve. Santa says that's a great idea but easy on the beans. So we see some more lights and head to RJ Grunts. It's packed and an hour wait. I look up at the TVs at the bar - they ware WINNING. 12 minutes left. Holy shit. I can't bear to watch b/c now I WANT them to win. I know it's possible. Can't take the heart break. We leave to find a place to eat....John Barleycorns. We get a great parking spot, walk in and get a table. I look up - 2 minutes left and we are winning. I have a huge flat screen 5 feet in front of me and a big group of rowdy Hoosiers at the bar. I'm in heaven. THIS is heaven to me. I am a mix of giddy and scared. I say to myself (and to Rob) that it doesn't matter. Even if they loose, they made it close which is more than I expected. Then we are down by 1. Then we loose the ball. OMG I can't watch this. UK has 2 free throws and are already up by 1. There are only 5.6 seconds left. God Dammit...I was trying not to care. I am barely watching. One eye open. The guy misses one free throw. OMG. He makes the other but only 5.6 seconds left. They are down by 2 and my group of rowdy Hoosier guys are bursting at the seams. I am slightly out of body when those seconds slip away and my stomach is in agony when Christian Watford goes to shoot and 3 pointer. It goes in. WHAT???? I jumped up and am yelling "Oh my God, that didn't happen?!!". The rowdy Hoosiers are insane, I am in complete disbelief. Every Hoosier at Assembly Hall is running on the floor. I am in heaven. This is unbelievable. I said is at least 30 times. Unbelievable. To get a perfect parking spot, to make it there in time, to be surrounded by other IU fans. The only bummer is Lily wouldn't talk the rest of the night b/c I embarrassed her w/ jumping and yelling. I hope, for her sake, she loves something enough in her life that she jumps and yells. I can barely focus....bliss....heaven. I smiled all night. Who couldn't? Good beat evil. Twice in a night. Our teams just beat the #1 and #2 teams in the country. And our kid just asked Santa if he'd like tacos. Seriously people, I'm living the dream.

Shitty Day

Yesterday was a really shitty day. Which was pretty ironic b/c I started off by telling Peter that I bet he would have a great day. He said, "why do you think that?" and I said "it's just a good thing to think". So my PMA ended not long after my proclamation that 'if you think it, you will fee it' l0ad of crap.

1. I am a huge dental phobe but had to go b/c of a pain. I braced myself for the worst news. In fact, I suggested they not even tell me what was wrong but just keep it to themselves, schedule me for the repair, I show up, get the nitrous and go home completely oblivious. They laughed but I wasn't really kidding.

2. Parenting - I can handle parenting stress one kid at a time - if that. I had my plate full w/ one child's saga when another child expressed genuine sadness/grief/pain over a legitimate issue. WAIT A MINUTE!! I only problem solve 1 kid at a time! Defeated and exhausted, I took a bath to retreat. During these baths, I always hope that when I get out, Rob has magically solved all of the world's problems.

3. I had to call the DR b/c of a prescription that our insurance wasn't covering. I had the script in my hand but by the time the nurse got on the phone, I could no longer find it. Sounding like a complete idiot as I babbled about how "it was just here" or "I'm so sorry", I finally offered to let her go and I would try to find it again.

4. Observation class for ballet. Parents can bring treats for the end of class. Did I? Of course not. I never thought about it until I walked in a saw a big table full of treats. Duh.

5. During observation, my daughter slinks passed me and mumbles "I hate ballet". Great.

6. Work. Well if you are familiar with the term "spinning your wheels", then you are familiar with the work of a Realtor. Now finish that phrase...."spinning your wheels for......". That sums it up.

7. I have been sick all week - well for a few weeks and I cough all night. So I keep cough drops on my nightstand to suck on during my sleep. I had one left. I put the kids to bed and watched TV. Peter came out a few minutes later to ask me to turn down the TV. I asked for a kiss. His breath smelled like MY COUGH DROP!!!!!!!!! WHAT????? I was totally destroyed. "Where did you get that cough drop and why do you need a cough drop?". I almost started bawling. That was my last cough drop. DAAAMMMITTT!

The day sucked. But that was yesterday and everyone has shitty days. Today is much better. I got more cough drops, more medicine, a latte from Starbucks and volunteered in Peter's classroom. Like Mr. Slinger says in Lily's Purple Plastic Purse, "Today was a hard day. Tomorrow will be better". Mr. Slinger is so wise.

Warp Speed

Have I already titled a blog Warp Speed? I am sure I have b/c it's just the life in which we are all living right now. Do kids in their 20's live in warp speed? Do new parents live in warp speed? Personally, this lifestyle started for me about 6 years ago....whenever that was. Who knows, I can't remember much from then to now.

Anyway - when there's a long gap in my blogs, I always feel great need to update. But seriously, why recount the many ways that time has passed. School concerts, countless meals, countless clean up, homework, projects, meetings, work. You know, we've all been there. I could certainly recount the wide range of emotion that guides me through each day. Hate Fairview Follies/love Fairview Follies. Bountiful pride for my children/a longing to lock them in a room for a couple of days. Gratitude and love for my husband/aggrevation that after 15 years together, he still tries to talk to me at 6:30 am. (OR EARLIER!!). The list goes on and on. We all live it. A vivid recollection of the emotions and a complete lack of memory for the details. So I'm blogging in the present - the only thing I really have a handle on.

The Holidays are upon us and per usual, I think I pretty much have it together and of course, I can attend the House Walk and this year we are going to go to the Bethlehem Night at the church down the block and I will, without doubt, make room for music in our schedule. This was all until yesterday when someone said, "I'm going to the House Walk today". WHAT????? The House Walk is TODAY? Holy Shit! Then, on my way to babysit last night, I passed the church down the block. Guess what they were doing? BETHLEHEM NIGHT!!!! Lastly, I see a FB posting from the Director of a choir thanking his singers for the concert I wanted to see earlier in the day. DAMMIT - I wanted to see that concert.

So what was I doing instead of all of those things? RELAXING! WORKING! LIVING LIFE! The bottom line is that I cannot do it all. I know some people can but I just can't. I can accomodate some work. I can accomodate a few meetings. I can accomodate probably 1 Christmas celebration. But you know what I really really need more than the House Walk. TO REST. I need to sip tea, wear pajamas, watch sports, make cookies, and blog. I WISH I could really go it all. But I can't. It's a reminder that every year I have grande expectations for Christmas. Each year I think, "this will be the year we make it to the midnight service at church". Or, "This will finally be the year I make home-made teacher's gifts". And always, "this year, I am going to make soup and deliver it to my friends". In the past, I have wanted to make scrapbooks, read to the kids next to the fire, knit (I don't even know how to knit), make snowmen (which truly I hate doing), sled, go downtown, have friends over, make egg nog, and on and on and on. So is it a case of much too high of expectations or complete lack of follow through?

Either way, my promise to myself AND to the Nicolls is that while we are off for Christmas break, we are kickin' it old school. We are taking techonology off the table. Phone off the hook. Suspending play date inquiries. We are wearing only pajamas. We are baking. We are thinking of others. We are watching movies (I haven't ever even seen ELF dammit!). These are things I can accomplish AND need. Maybe we can make it downtown for lights. Maybe we can go to caroling. Maybe we can go to the mall (okay, that one made me cringe!) But one thing's for sure, WE WILL BE IN THIS HOUSE - TOGETHER! Whether they like it or not b/c Mama needs it. And you all know what they say about a happy mama........HO HO HO!