Anyway - when there's a long gap in my blogs, I always feel great need to update. But seriously, why recount the many ways that time has passed. School concerts, countless meals, countless clean up, homework, projects, meetings, work. You know, we've all been there. I could certainly recount the wide range of emotion that guides me through each day. Hate Fairview Follies/love Fairview Follies. Bountiful pride for my children/a longing to lock them in a room for a couple of days. Gratitude and love for my husband/aggrevation that after 15 years together, he still tries to talk to me at 6:30 am. (OR EARLIER!!). The list goes on and on. We all live it. A vivid recollection of the emotions and a complete lack of memory for the details. So I'm blogging in the present - the only thing I really have a handle on.
The Holidays are upon us and per usual, I think I pretty much have it together and of course, I can attend the House Walk and this year we are going to go to the Bethlehem Night at the church down the block and I will, without doubt, make room for music in our schedule. This was all until yesterday when someone said, "I'm going to the House Walk today". WHAT????? The House Walk is TODAY? Holy Shit! Then, on my way to babysit last night, I passed the church down the block. Guess what they were doing? BETHLEHEM NIGHT!!!! Lastly, I see a FB posting from the Director of a choir thanking his singers for the concert I wanted to see earlier in the day. DAMMIT - I wanted to see that concert.
So what was I doing instead of all of those things? RELAXING! WORKING! LIVING LIFE! The bottom line is that I cannot do it all. I know some people can but I just can't. I can accomodate some work. I can accomodate a few meetings. I can accomodate probably 1 Christmas celebration. But you know what I really really need more than the House Walk. TO REST. I need to sip tea, wear pajamas, watch sports, make cookies, and blog. I WISH I could really go it all. But I can't. It's a reminder that every year I have grande expectations for Christmas. Each year I think, "this will be the year we make it to the midnight service at church". Or, "This will finally be the year I make home-made teacher's gifts". And always, "this year, I am going to make soup and deliver it to my friends". In the past, I have wanted to make scrapbooks, read to the kids next to the fire, knit (I don't even know how to knit), make snowmen (which truly I hate doing), sled, go downtown, have friends over, make egg nog, and on and on and on. So is it a case of much too high of expectations or complete lack of follow through?
Either way, my promise to myself AND to the Nicolls is that while we are off for Christmas break, we are kickin' it old school. We are taking techonology off the table. Phone off the hook. Suspending play date inquiries. We are wearing only pajamas. We are baking. We are thinking of others. We are watching movies (I haven't ever even seen ELF dammit!). These are things I can accomplish AND need. Maybe we can make it downtown for lights. Maybe we can go to caroling. Maybe we can go to the mall (okay, that one made me cringe!) But one thing's for sure, WE WILL BE IN THIS HOUSE - TOGETHER! Whether they like it or not b/c Mama needs it. And you all know what they say about a happy mama........HO HO HO!
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