It's been a whole month since my last blog. I don't know if that speaks to my lack of time, energy or overall avoidance of anything that just didn't HAVE to happen. Blogging is a luxury I guess and this past month felt like a experience in focused, no-nonsense planning and execution.
But we survived the parties and the mad rush and the spending and the wrapping and the driving up and down interstates. I have lost hours of sleep and gained a few (or more than a few) lbs but again, I am standing. The Holidays are hectic for everyone but this year, I had the added stress of planning the Family New Year's Eve event for the Village and some real estate work stuff to attend to. So I really feel like I missed out on the spirit of the Christmas b/c I was just "surviving"...and that sucks. I am officially retiring from planning events...unless I am SUPER inspired b/c frankly, I am getting nothing out of it anymore.
So on to 2010. I think about the continuous struggle to live a full life but still a simple life. It's a life long journey for most people I think...I really do try to live and give my children a full life but struggle with how to do that without the burden of "too much"...too much stress, money, time, energy. I long for days of my youth, or at least how I remember my youth, when summers were long and full of nothing but bike rides and books. These days I want to make summer full of experiences that we miss during the school year but that I think are worth having. So how do you live a simple life yet make it diverse and interesting and full? Let me know if anyone figures it out. Here is a great example; I love long days at home with nothing planned but then i hear voices saying "go to the city. we never get to the city enough. the kids haven't even been to the planetarium...". Again, please let me know if anyone has a handle on this modern day mother's struggle.
At least I can say this...I have started out the new year with getting back to something that is just ME. My music. My music used to be SO important to me. I mean growing up, college and when I was single, I had a collection of really great diverse music that really comforted and inspired me. But of course, as I had the kids that just went away. Because who has time for sitting in front of their "jam box" and belting out song after song until you know every single word by heart. But this year, my parents gave me a CD player for the kitchen. So I just collected my music from the dark corner of a cabinet in the family room and set them up in the kitchen. I put an old Nanci Griffith in and I felt SO happy. I stood there and read the album cover from beginning to end as I sang along with her, proud that I could remember those harmonies. I felt sadness that I had let that go. And guilt that I left Nanci and Sade and The Cowboy Junkies in the dark for the last 10 years. But they are back. And I am really happy about that.
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