Acceptance in 2011

Being a mother to 3 is way different than I ever imagined. When I was young, growing up and well into my 20's, I saw myself having 2 kids. A boy and a girl. When I imagined it - parenting - I was different in that video I played in my head. I was in shape, still 28 (I guess never aging?!), patient, organized and basically on top of my game. Sometimes I will see moms and think "that is how I expected I would be". You know, more crafty....layed back....fun loving....artsy. You know that mom. The mom who is running with a football in her hand while her kids tackle her and everyone is laughing. The mom who pulls up to school in her clean Subaru hatch back. That same mom who has time and energy to be a foster parent, volunteer at school, bring her husband lunch at work.....you know the one I am talking about.
Fast forward and I have 3 instead of 2 and am out of shape and too tired to be "artsy" or even know what that is supposed to mean. I drive a dirty dented 6 year old van. The new video is of a mom who is more patient now than in the beginning at least but she certainly isn't crafty. She looses her keys, drops kids off with pajama pants on, I only watch football and no one should ever consider tackling me. WHY did I ever envision myself the other way? I wasn't that way then so why in the world would I all of a sudden give birth and blossom into a "commercial" mom. I wish I could go back to that girl and say, "listen, you are who you are, learn to love it".

I have spent over a decade trying to become a really good mom. Some things I did well from the beginning, but other things still have a long way to go. We don't go to church regularly, I think lemonade stands are a pain in the ass and sometimes I don't read the Friday flyer from school. BUT - as my kids have grown, I am so proud of them. I look at them and think "man, these kids really rock". So my point is this - you don't have to be perfect or even parent perfectly to have lovely, wise and sweet children. I am proof.
So in 2011, I am working on acceptance b/c I don't want to spend another decade thinking I am not good enough and because I just heard someone whisper (or shout!) in my ear, "you are who you are, learn to love it!".