Tuesday, October 11, 2011

43 - The new 40

Let me start by saying that I think that 43 is the new 40.  OR, I am just 3 years behind...which would make sense b/c I have always been a little immature. I would have friends say "well, since I turned 40...".  I never felt any different at or after 40 until recently. But finally, alas, I feel a little happier, a little more secure and a ton more acceptance.
Acceptance...
I accept that today,while sneezing, I not only peed my pants, I actually had to change my clothes.
I accept that even though I am trying to remember that 2 different things can't occur at the same time, I am continuously double scheduling.  The old me would be beating myself up about that to no end but recently, I am letting that go.  Kind of even okay w/ the fact that I bet I will do again probably this month!
I accept that I will never be able to sit Indian style again.
I accept that some people don't like me.
I accept that some days I parent well and some I don't.
I accept that I never got my kids into going to church and I am pretty okay with that.
I accept that sometimes I want to be social and sometimes I want to be alone.

To accept means that I no longer am expending energy to fix it.  No more worries.  No more strategies.  No more relentless efforts to get this thing done perfectly.  I know I used to say "I am not perfect" but deep down I wished I were.  Now I am honestly just OKAY with it.  Again, I love the Gretchen Rubin commandment of "Be Gretchen".  I am just finally happy to just "Be Julia".


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