What a week!

Oh my gosh - I have so much to write. What a week! I worked a lot and the kids had a lot and we have colds - but let's start at the beginning...

Last weekend we were in Wisconsin. Peter LOVES going - loves being with Oliver and Elliot. He kicked and cried and really let me have it when we left. "Why do always makes us leave when we are in Wensconsin?". "You are a rude woman making me leave Wendsonsin". Nonetheless - we had to go. Of course, getting a way was great but I had work on the mind (as always lately!). So we come home, I go out to work and luckily, my clients found a home and we made an offer late on Sunday night. I was finally home and done at 8:30 at night.

Monday the girls were off school. We decided to to The Museum of Science and Industry as it was a free day. It was prefect - not too crowded. Pete's favorite thing - a Little Tykes pirate ship that really could be found basically at any park. But I thought the girls loved everything - just like me. Especially the big engines and airplanes. But later Lily told me she didn't like it. This comes as no surprise - her take on life always leans to the negative.

Tuesday - work, showings, shopping for orchestra outfits.

Wednesday - Maeve's first orchestra concert. These moments are what make the chaos calm. The rush of dinner, getting dressed, being sure we are all prepared. AND having to get to Fairivew 3 hours early just to get a decent seat...But alas, the concert starts and it's no surprise that I am brought to tears. My nearly 10 year old daughter, tall and beautiful and bright, plucking away at her Viola. And I felt pride for ALL of the kids. What a great school and what a great life.

Thursday - more work, meetings, and then my first choir practice. TRUE. I have missed singing in a choir for far too long. So I got a tip that the director at First Pres in AH was really good. I called and said "sign me up". So I was nervous and I will say, I had no idea what to expect. AND I felt guilty taking even MORE time away from home. BUT, this is a creative outlet for me and as music is one of my passions, I felt it worth the sacrifice. It was go great...yes I am super young compared to most other members. But I will say this...I can't believe the welcome. They were beyond welcoming and sweet and even one member took me under her wing and made sure I was taken care of. I came home happy as a clam and ready to tell the world about my new adventure in life - Rob was practically sleeping and sick. So instead, I ate 1/2 a bag of chex mix and watched Friends.

Friday - started out great...but then, I started running late - really late. I was taking pictures of a new listing and then my phone was missing and in the end, I walked in 20 minutes passed the time I have my sitter for on Fridays. AND walked into a house with another child - his friend Alex. Because I WAS SUPPOSED TO BABYSIT AT 1:00. Bam Bam - felt like I was going down. And although my sitter and my friend "have my back", it's impossible for me NOT to feel like a jack ass. And all I could think was "I can't keep up this pace".
Friday night Lily had soccer and she tried really really hard and I was proud of her.

Saturday - worked practically all day. GUILT - rob is sick at home w/ the kids again. GUILT - Peter is crying and doesn't want me to leave. GUILT GUILT GUILT.

Saturday night we did get to unwind w/ friends and Thai food -

Sunday - woke up to go SING. And I loved it. GUILT - leaving the family again. Now I am - AT WORK. When I get home I have to work with Maeve on a school project. I am already prepping myself for Peter and Lily wanting my attention too.

So in the end - my diet consisted of crackers, chex mix and cereal. Barely enough water to keep my poor kidneys functioning. Important people in my life either called or emailed and I couldn't respond. Peter missed more naps than ever in his wee life. And I made countless commitments to exercise every day that never developed into reality...and to be honest, I knew they never would. I was late, tired and illiquiped emotionally much of the time. BUT - we survived. My kids aren't seriously ill. We both still have jobs. I wake up each knowing that I have all I need - a home, a family that loves me, great friends, hope, and enough money to go to Caribou.

And I also wanted to say that every time I blog and I say "I"......I really mean all of us. Because I am no different than any other mother running around trying to make the best of her life and the best of her family's lives. I am not alone in the chaos or the stress. I am not alone in the tears or moments of pure joy. And I know for sure, that I wasn't alone in shopping for orchestra clothes the day before the concert.
I write this blog b/c all moms share one common denominator - trying really hard!