Call out!

I can honestly say that TODAY I am a positive person. I try to think positively. But this doesn't,by any stretch, come to me naturally. Maybe NOW it does but it took years of work. I am sure my mom would agree that as a kid, I may have been delightful in some ways but I was a serious "complainer". And then there have been a few specific moments in my life, when someone caught me in big boo hoo debbie downer moment and "let me have it". The 2 that I am thinking of both came in college when I was probably at my deepest of Debbie Downer days. When I think back, I think at that point, it was habitual and I wasn't even thinking about it. But my angle was always a bit edgy - don't mess with me, glass 1/2 full, the world is out to get me, bad luck jules. But these 2 moments which I can barely describe b/c they are so embarrassing, I was totally called out on bringing those around me down. The first one happened as a Freshman - I was taken WAY off guard. Again, I think some of this was habit and some was part of my "shtick" - part of my humor or my persona. But I stood there, so embarrassed that someone actually told me to basically shut it. But I LEARNED so so much for that singular moment. I really did. I made a big turnaround b/c I don't think I realized how much that was effecting how people viewed me. The next moment came when I was a senior and again, I was taken off guard and basically called out for being "negative". I remember feeling irritated - b/c who wouldn't be "negative" when they traffic was bad or so and so was on your nerves or that your basic impatience with the world has just boiled over???? But then I FELT it. I had been FEELING that negative vibe and it was now bringing ME down too. So why was I facing the world with the irritable, sighing, "put out" M.O.? To be honest, I don't know...I really don't. But I do know that those 2 "call outs" helped me a lot. Do I still fall into habits of Debbie Downer? I do, but they are quick to be turned around. This weekend, one Rob Nicoll had to call me out on one. And he was right. It wasn't fun hearing that I was bringing the whole family down with my general aggravation and fussing and fuming. But I KNEW he was right - b/c once again, I FELT it. The remark stung like a bee, but was warranted. I went to Church that morning and felt sad and dumpy but then I thought to myself, "learn from this". I HATE negativity in others - which is probably based in my personal experience. And I really value being the best person I can be. If I can be better, I am going to try. So after church, I told Rob that he was right and I have been MUCH more aware of any eye rolling, sighing, fussing and criticism that come from ME. Sometimes we all just need a little "call out".!
And then guess what I realized when I first wrote this.....I have passed this trait down to someone I know!!! Oh my, it's true. There is a certain person in this house who wakes up many mornings already mad at the world. Once again, I must take credit for this one. Damn.