Parenting - The Mounting Pressure

We have all seen those Datelines or 20/20's that tell the story of a teenage girl who lived in the quintessential neighborhood with what appeared as the most perfect family but found herself doing drugs with friends instead of going to school. Or we've watched segments of a child taking their own life because of bullying at school. The amount of information we know about what could happen to kids is endless - a friend of a friend, heard it on Facebook, saw it on the news, read it on the Yahoo page. Is there any question why we are all scared shitless to get this thing right?

For years, I have been keenly aware that if I don't get each stage perfectly right, I could end up with a teen who runs away, bullies, drops out of school or simply feels lost. Or if I don't discipline back talk at age 9, I will have a tween who screams at me that she's not going to do homework. There are so many scenarios that hold risk for no matter how you handle it. You could be too strict causing kids to want to rebel. Or, you could be so lenient that they are up to no good right under your nose. You could hover or you could sit back. You could talk too much or too little. You could have no trust or trust way too much. Who the hell knows? I operate with continual fear that makes huge leaps like cellphone/sexting...facebook/inappropriate pictures posted.....email/cyberbullying.....indpendence/drinking in the basement....and the list goes on.

Saying all of this, I am not a total nut job. I do let my kids have appropriate levels of independence. I just am cringing inside the whole time!! Yes, I will let Maeve have a phone. Yes, I will allow email and use of computers. I will talk too much and ignore some stuff I probably shouldn't. I won't get it all right. I will be too strict and embarrass my kids. I will apologize for flipping out over what is probably normal stuff. Once again, I wish I could just focus on kids that are 5, 10 and 11 but I know better than that...I know that 8, 13 and 14 are somewhat determined by today as much as that kind of sucks.

This isn't one of those blogs where I have some grand solution at the end. My only solution is to do my best, follow my gut as confused as it is these days, consult with my friends and to try to remember how I felt when I was 10 and 11. And lastly, stop watching Dateline.