Tell me what to do..

Well, Lily has sty eye again. It's tough b/c these are the times when I wish someone would just tell me what to do....
Take her to the DR tomorrow and demand they drain the eye. Okay!
It's fine, let it make it's way, it's not serious. Okay!
Tell the DR no more antibiotics b/c those are good to be taking for so long and clearly ineffective. Okay!
And I dont' want the DR to look at me with options - "well you could try..... or we could do....." JUST TELL ME. I can't be the decider all of the time..it's just too much.

There are times I will walk in my room and see all the clean clothes that need to be put away and I just WISH my mom would put them away for me.

Same with my social life - so much wish that Rob would come home one Friday and say - "we are going out tomorrow night- all set up". Really? All set up? KICK ASS.

Basically I am yearning for guidance - to not lead - to not drive. I have been struggling with this emotion all summer. I talked about it with my dear wise friend Kristi and so now when she checks in with me she will say "found a driver yet?".

What is more interesting is to wonder why I am thinking of all this now...what has triggered such a strong need NOT to lead/decide/control??? I guess with all things it's balance - you just naturally need balance and I am a tad out of balance. I realize that w/ my personality (as rob would say to me -"you say you don't want to lead but you do") that it may appear that I want to lead - but to be honest, sometimes I don't. Can we have it both ways - does it have to be one or the other? Lead or don't lead. Can't a girl have a night off?